embarrassed to talk

Marriage – Only Goal ???

“Marriage” it is your ultimate reality. You are born to get married. It’s not easy to live life alone. Especially if you are a girl, life will be hell for you. No, don’t get me wrong, these are not my words, this is the entire humanity thinks.

Recently something really strange happened with me. My mumma’s cousin’s husband, my so called “Mausaji” – Uncle (I elaborated the relation to tell that they are not my direct relative, still “Related”) So he came home to ask for my hand for his son. The son whom I have been calling Bhaiya my entire life and wait a minute tying “Rakhi” to him for some years (Rakhi is a sacred thread that a sister ties on her brothers hand – a bond of love).

And the amazing part was I was in Mumbai he already came and spoke to my mother and she agreed too, waiting for me to visit. Though ofcourse my father was against this alliance, and why my mum and Maasa did this because we both have crossed 40 and still not married, their big reason to worry. I was not angry with them but feeling sad for them that they have lost their sanity completely. I was shook by this incident, it took me a day to register this into my system than I accepted the fact that when it comes to parents you just have to let go.

But I was just thinking whole day today, if I do not get married what actually will happen. Is it end of the world. No no, am serious if someone has answer let me know while reading this. In my family everyone from my cousins to my brother are married and have kids too, only I am left. But when ever there is a social gathering people look at me with pity having a thought “What will she do with her life when she grows old”. This one question really cracks me, you are not sure whether you would be getting up alive in morning the next day and still you are worried of what you would be doing in old age.

Why can’t “Being Single” treated normal. And currently what is really bothering me is a thought of brother and sister getting married even if not connected by blood. Yes my maasa is not my real but his son is my “Rakhi Brother” or people have completely forgotten the ethics, morals and conscience or the desperation is taken all over. I understand making old people understand is a nutcase. But this thought creeps me marrying to someone you faught with as child, took advice, had friendly banters, and now suddenly you try look him as a husband, does this thought shivers anyone of you or is it just the result of my overrthinking.

Whatever it is, my only appeal to everyone is marriage is not the only goal to be achieved in life. If I do not have a husband or child I still can live my life happily not that I will end in depression. And moreover people should really value the relation they are making. Stop making Marriage a taboo. I am not against marriages, marry someone you are compatible with. May be someday I might also marry someone if I get someone or not – Big Deal!!!

With only one thought

Respect relations and value each and every relation you make.

Love and happiness

Tripts

Compassionate Lisitening

Before we talk about comapassionate lisitening, let us understand what is compassion, in simple words it means understanding. Hence, compassionate listening is understanding the suffering without any judgements or advices. Be the person with whom someone in stress can share his or her ordeals and fights related to life also may be with all the wrong perceptions and ideas about situations and people around them. They don’t need to be corrected at the time when they are coming to you in hope of some relief.

When a person is in stress all he/she needs is someone who will lisiten without any judgements, even if they are completely wrong. Be the bin where they can just dump all the garbage inside them. What most of us do is we try to tell them how they have turned situation against them, how they have messed up everything and what they need to do to correct everything in life. No, they don’t need your advice at that point in life when they themselves are suffering a lot inside. Just lisiten to them what they have to say and your reaction should be silently “Everything will be allright” look.

People talk a lot about mental health and how one should be helped to deal with stress and depression and anxiety, but do they really do something about it when it comes to them in person. I have gone through this personally when I have been advised how I should change myself when I am telling that what I have done was wrong and admitting to it. And its not about individual experience if someone talks to me opening up and also telling me that they have done nothing wrong where at the back of the mind I know that’s not right, but I do not correct them because I know emptying themselves will lighten their hearts and eventually people do realise what was their mistake and what they have done was wrong. You do not have to be their teacher at the time of stress.

If you can be a dumping bag for them, it will really help them and they will not find themselves all alone in this fight called “LIFE”. Be the one, Be the Compassionate Listeners.

Have a happy day!

Love and Light

Tripts ❤️

Why being judgemental ???

Being judgemental is the biggest disease of our country. I believe almost everyone here is judgemental, you will rarely find a “Species” who is not judgemental and who takes people and situations the way it is. I am also not away of this disease however have made lot of improvement in this area and hence am able to write a blog on this. Earlier I use to be hell lot of judgemental about everyone, but as they say na Karma is above all, I was hit so hard by Karma that I understood the effect it has on others so now I have stopped being judgmental though I am judged a lot.

So what if someone is not married at the age of 40, so what if someone is still virgin at the age of 40, so what if someone does not have interest in politics or is not updated of current affairs, so what if someone is not having babies after being married for 10 years, so what if someone is having only girl children and no boys, so what if someone at the age of 40 behaves kiddish and do not show signs of maturity, so what if someone only have boys as friends and no girlfriends, so what if being a girl someone loves to smoke and drink and party, so what if someone likes to sit in the room when the party is going out and so the list goes on.

At the end we all are humans. We can have different lifestyles, different choices and different mindset which gives us happiness, who gives you authority to judge that person. Does that person harm you in any way. There are some people who are really strong headed who give a damm what people say or think about them. Good!!! But there are some people, those the weaker section of society who do gets impacted with people’s way of judgements about them. First of all you all should know that there are other things going on someone else’s life which you are not aware of so your words or actions might add up to that misery they are facing. And even if everything is cool why not leave them alone.

Like I can give example of my own family without naming the very close member of my family always judges me by the kind of posts I put on social media, or my being filmy or the set of friends I have especially boys. Sometimes I do get embarrassed by that look in her eyes. Those look are really sarcastic. I feel low, embarrassed in my own self. My point here is if you are doing something does that mean I should do the same to fit in the intellectual circuit. Why, why can’t one be him or herself without being judged. It is very easy to give someone Gyan but it is difficult to follow that yourself.

Stop judging people, welcome them with open arms and a smile on your face. It would make a difference and then this world would be even more beautiful place to live in. And please for heaven sake stop saying “Log kya kahenge” Log waise bhi kahenge, aap kuch bhi kar lein. So do what your heart truly believes in, our society is such that it will never stop judging you because it’s their birth right, they were born with this power to belittle others and question them on every single thing they do.

Well, still we shouldn’t leave a ray of hope in us.

Keep loving and spreading positivity😇

Tripts

Married? NO!!! Why??

Hmmm, big question🤪 Tough one to answer! More than an IAS question I guess. Since long I wanted to write something on this, however whenever I thought of writing I fall short of words. But today I thought of just scribbing whatever is there in my mind without thinking if my grammar is proper or my vocabulary is fabulous.

Marriage? What is marriage??? If we go by meaning it would be like something “A sacred institution where two souls compatible to each other meet” Blah Blah Blah… But in reality marriage is something that just happens when two individuals meet, and are destined to mingle into one entity. But what if there is someone who is 25 plus and not married. Now, is that a shameful act? Or is the filth and negativity in my head? I am a single individual, my friends of my age are married and some are even having kids. Now, the reasons could be many. Not necessarily depressive ones or may be. You can’t say! But my point is why this one is so relevant a question to ask a single individual, the most important one. Off lately I came across some of my old friends with whom I was not in touch since quite a long time, and guess what the first question they asked me “Hey, are you married? No, Why? To begin with, yes they all are happily married and well settled in life.

To answer let me first begin with a happy smile that NO there is no sad story but sometimes things just don’t happen. I do not have one perfect answer as to why I am still single. May be I was not suppose to marry, may be I am not the right individual that any guy would like to settle with, may be I have adjustment issues or may be it still is not the right time… May be, May be, May be… No answer! Now tell me if you meet me at some point in life and find me still single what answer should I give you.

Earlier I was not upset of not getting married. I was a strong individual but now I am getting weak, my friends who ask me why aren’t am married don’t fail to amaze me by even giving me advice to get married as it is the only BIG necessity in life. Sometimes I feel like hiding somewhere where no one knows me, but I know that is also not an option. If I was some big personality having crores in my account, may be still then some people atleast would shut themselves if not all because then I would be having loads of money to take care of and most importantly enough to shut people, but I don’t even have that much money. No am not feeling sorry for myself because not getting married was my personal choice, but looking at societal mindset I do feel sorry for my parents because even though they don’t say anything but I do know somewhere they wanted deep in their hearts how good it would be if their daughter was married like other’s.

Sometimes I wonder where is people’s compassion towards others. If I see someone not married or not having a baby, I do not ask this question because somewhere I know it would pinch them deep down, if not all may be some. But why they do not think before asking especially if they are married that their question might hurt the person the question is being directed to. People should definitely have COMPASSION towards their fellow beings, may be they generically ask and do not intend to hurt anyone but if at the age of 40 someone is not married there might be some reason which they might not want to answer and might feel embarrassed to even address this question. And then it becomes socially awkward for such people to come in public and embrace their own selves be their own true original self. And how funny it is that then you only ask “What happened, you are not you anymore”.

I know nothing will change, this will keep on going and it’s okay people of our parents age won’t change, there is whole generation which we need to cover so we can ignore but what for the people of our age, can’t they develop “Understanding”, “Love” and “Respect” for the people of their own age group. Why can’t you be accepting? This is one question that all of us needs to ask ourselves and then we might expect some positive change in society in coming times.

And remember as someone rightly said once “Singleness is not a sickness, a sin, or a problem. Single people are not broken and they do not need to be fixed”. Stop feeling pity for them and be happy with them and enjoy with them like you use to once when you were friends when you were young 😘

Am I right OR I am right😂🌸❤️

Tripts!!!