taboo – Tripts

Divorce… A stigma

Every now and then we hear someone or the other getting divorced. And the amazing part is we at once judges one of the individual in the circus of life called “Divorce”. No, really that’s the bitter truth and I am no less.

Recently, there is one incident that shook me mentally. 4 months back I was living in a p.g with 2 girls one of whom was divorced at the early age of her life. And as soon as I shifted there she opened up about the painful chapter of her life. Now the interesting part is she was exactly like me, same mood swings, same attitude, same temparents overall same individuals and as you all know that opposites attract so we couldn’t gel for long and eventually had a major fallout due to which I left that p.g but one thing that I didn’t mentioned here was that during our verbal spat I told her in anger “Because of this attitude of yours, you got divorced”, which is a very wrong thing to say though I immidiately apologised to her but she never forgave me though I tried a lot in my way to say sorry but she just didn’t wanted to see my face. And I believe she was right in her own space.

Though there is one thing that I never told her because that might create rift among 2 best friends. Her own friend who was the 3rd girl among us 3 days before that spat mentioned this to me in general conversation and due to which I used this line in our fight as it was in my mind. Though many times I felt like telling her friend who was really nice to me that no matter how worse she is you cannot be talking about her in a negative sense to anyone specially a third person who is an outsider in your life like me but I never said because no one likes to lisiten negative about themselves, this I have learnt from my past experiences so I refrain giving any kind of gyan to anyone.

However, point over here is not who is wrong and who is right and who said what, point is who gave us the right to judge an individual who has suffered that dark chapter in his or her life. We were not there when they were having their ups and downs. We were not living their journeys. We do not know what went wrong.

Always remember whenever Divorce happens it is the responsibility of both the individuals involved. We cannot and should not blame any one person. It might be a possibility that the person might have tried a lot to save her or his marriage but eventually things couldn’t work for them. So in this case if a person ever tells you about his or her divorce story just give them a tight hug and say “You are stronger than this, this shall too pass”. Never judge them and please never ever think that it is their fault that they got divorced. May be god has better plans for them. I wish each one of them who ever has to go through this pain be strong and have a wonderful life ahead and lastly “To that special someone who once started with me as a strong friendship a big “SORRY” and I mean it.”

Lots of love to all

Tripts

Negativity it is ???

You all are aware of this “term”, no one wants to come across as a negative person. Even if the person is, he will always claim to be a positive person. Because being negative as per them is clingeworthy. But do you know infact I think everyone knows that 2 negatives make 1 positive. I know I know how cliche 😂

I am in general a negative person and I have no shame in accepting it. Infact there is a very interesting story to it, way back in 2007 I won a small beauty contest in my then Delhi office where I was asked a question what would you want people to think about you and I very calmly said “I would want people to think that I am highly positive person which I am NOT, and amazingly I won with this answer.

I would like to say that there is nothing wrong in being negative because they are the ones who will tell you the most amount of truth, Tell me those who claim to be positive people are they really positive. Talking about people behind their back is negativity, taking dig at other one’s appearance and personality is negativity and above all putting some one down by showing oneself superior is also negativity. Then where is positivity. Whereas I think talking truth and accepting situations and things around you is positivity. If a person himself says that I am a negative person is in itself being honest which in other words is being positive.

What I meant to say in this blog is if you really are a positive person think about other’s in positive way. Be true to yourself and if someone is wrong instead of putting the person down think about the situation he is in and shower love on that person than in real sense will make you a positive person.

I am proud of being a Negative person.

No shame at all. Mock me as much as you can!

Love and Light to all

Marriage – Only Goal ???

“Marriage” it is your ultimate reality. You are born to get married. It’s not easy to live life alone. Especially if you are a girl, life will be hell for you. No, don’t get me wrong, these are not my words, this is the entire humanity thinks.

Recently something really strange happened with me. My mumma’s cousin’s husband, my so called “Mausaji” – Uncle (I elaborated the relation to tell that they are not my direct relative, still “Related”) So he came home to ask for my hand for his son. The son whom I have been calling Bhaiya my entire life and wait a minute tying “Rakhi” to him for some years (Rakhi is a sacred thread that a sister ties on her brothers hand – a bond of love).

And the amazing part was I was in Mumbai he already came and spoke to my mother and she agreed too, waiting for me to visit. Though ofcourse my father was against this alliance, and why my mum and Maasa did this because we both have crossed 40 and still not married, their big reason to worry. I was not angry with them but feeling sad for them that they have lost their sanity completely. I was shook by this incident, it took me a day to register this into my system than I accepted the fact that when it comes to parents you just have to let go.

But I was just thinking whole day today, if I do not get married what actually will happen. Is it end of the world. No no, am serious if someone has answer let me know while reading this. In my family everyone from my cousins to my brother are married and have kids too, only I am left. But when ever there is a social gathering people look at me with pity having a thought “What will she do with her life when she grows old”. This one question really cracks me, you are not sure whether you would be getting up alive in morning the next day and still you are worried of what you would be doing in old age.

Why can’t “Being Single” treated normal. And currently what is really bothering me is a thought of brother and sister getting married even if not connected by blood. Yes my maasa is not my real but his son is my “Rakhi Brother” or people have completely forgotten the ethics, morals and conscience or the desperation is taken all over. I understand making old people understand is a nutcase. But this thought creeps me marrying to someone you faught with as child, took advice, had friendly banters, and now suddenly you try look him as a husband, does this thought shivers anyone of you or is it just the result of my overrthinking.

Whatever it is, my only appeal to everyone is marriage is not the only goal to be achieved in life. If I do not have a husband or child I still can live my life happily not that I will end in depression. And moreover people should really value the relation they are making. Stop making Marriage a taboo. I am not against marriages, marry someone you are compatible with. May be someday I might also marry someone if I get someone or not – Big Deal!!!

With only one thought

Respect relations and value each and every relation you make.

Love and happiness

Tripts

My Brother Nikhil

Recently I watched this 2005 flick, and was wondering were people really that ignorant those times. Thankfully, people are more aware now atleast that is what I think. It dealt with 2 “Taboos”, majorly “Aids” and some part of homosexuality.

Firstly let’s talk about homosexuality, why we have to give it a name. Can’t it be taken as normal sex like what happens between a boy and a girl, it can happen between a boy and a boy or a girl and a girl. Or more than sex Love. Why to stereotype and make it look unusual and something that is beyond nature. Why can’t it be taken as a normal subject. Why to ridicule and make a mockery of it. That’s true even today whenever we come across a man who seems to be gay as per his mannerisms, we talk hush hush giggle pointing at him. That’s true as I use to work in media industry, most of the make up person or stylist use to be gay, and people use to be normal with them but make fun of them behind their back. I mean this is so unacceptable. It is just the matter of choice, there is nothing wrong in it. Infact it took a legal turn to when government has to announce that 377 is legal now, means it was such an offence that a penal code was assigned to it why because there was lot of hue and cry regarding it mainly in the form of activists that it is ruining the prestige of their religion whereas there is no where in any religious book it is mentioned to crush someone’s independence.

Now let’s talk about “Aids”, though now I believe it’s no longer a taboo still I have come across many intellectual people who do believe that maintain distance with people having “Aids”. Years back I was watching movie “Phir Milenge” starring Shilpa Shetty and Salman Khan, I was watching the movie with one of my creative director for a T.V Show, I just mouthed out words like what lame people are these who are sacking her for being HIV positive, to which my director counter attacked what’s wrong in this, it’s always better to be safe. I was really amazed by her senses. How will you get impacted in being around with such person. But that’s true. Some people even today have this myth in them that HIV positive people are contagious. All I can say is if at all you have some kind of mental turbulences, please educate yourself before being paranoid. Firstly being HIV Positive does not mean the person has AIDS and secondly even if the person has Aids it’s fine he or she would be taking treatment and let the person live the life with full dignity with whatever time he or she is left with. Don’t ridicule or embarrass the person.

Live life with full grace.

Tripts🌸

Social Media Ideals

I know the title seems too wierd. What I meant here is that people posts too idealistic quotes on social media, but do they really mean it. No, trust me I know such people, infact public figures who posts too idealistic quotes like being positive, genuine soul etc etc but in reality they are exact opposite to it.

I never post such things on social media because our mind works in mysterious manner. Today we are positive, tomorrow we can be negative and the other day might get involve in immoral activities, we cannot predict our personality, it keep on changing. First of all develop humanity. Be kind to everyone. We all lack this virtue including me. I don’t think I am a genuine soul, if for once you became jealous of someone, made fun of someone’s appearance or spoke ill about someone then you are human not genuine. And that is why giving motivational gyan on social media is far from being true. They post to gain followers, more and more likes. I have worked in media industry and know many such people who are completely different off screen. And that’s not wrong but why to be saints on social media. Be who you are. I don’t feel ashamed saying that I am fake at times, negative and jealous being. Because I am human. One should be kind from inside and then they won’t have to give gyan to others and they will automatically have millions of followers.

Love

Tripts❤️

Slangs… Just words or disrespect!!!

As far as slangs used in English language as a part of conversation it’s all cool. However, I never like when people used ethnicity based slurs to define people. It is all in bad taste, very disrespectful! But for people it’s all in humour. Keeping names for the people you are friendly with is okay but using slangs in generic terms is really not acceptable.

Like for example very common one is “Chinky” that refers to mostly people with Chinese origin. Same way “Nigger” is the word used for black people mostly in USA. And the most offensive term I hate personally is “Katua” or “Mullah” to describe people of Muslim origin. And what is amazing is that people find pride and fun while calling these names out. I never liked, when I use to work and when my seniors use to joke about taking these slangs, I use to keep quiet, no point in correcting these so called high profile, sophisticated, intellectual and elite class. They know everything and if you correct them you are either spoiled sport or trying to be classy and modest.

So I stopped correcting anyone now. But I feel we should not be using derogatory term for anyone and just for once try to step in their shoes, how will you feel if someone does that to you.

Have a lovely and joyous day.

Love

Tripts🥰

The Intern

When I started working in Mumbai in T.V industry, I used to be embarrassed quite a while because everyone out there were so young to me, even my creative directors and I was working as their juniors, all because I started too late.

But then one day while net surfing I came across this wonderful movie that changed my mindset all together. Well, even if you are working with your younger ones as your seniors, there is no need to be embarrassed if you are dedicated, hardworking, focused and most important wearing a smile whole time at work.

At the end how does it matter what age you are till the time you know your job and love your job and even if people sometime talk about you or seem surprised for your age, that’s okay. You be confident because at the end confidence is what matters and trust me slowly people will love you.

Love

Tripts…

Ghost- Are They Real!!!

Well, this is a debatable topic since long for so many people. And as a matter of fact 99% of our country believes in them. And I am not here to challenge their belief. Everyone has there belief system and we all should respect that but as an individual I do not believe in Ghosts. For one and only major reason I have not seen them.

Forget that, but whoever claims that they have seen ghosts have actually not seen them but have heard tales from their relatives or granny. Anything what we have seen or believe are through the movies. It is movies portrayal of ghosts that has occupied our minds so strongly that we have even given shape to this imagination called “Ghost”.

Like for example, it is generally shown in movies that ghost come back to take revenge then we have so many famous pending murder cases why don’t their spirits come and take revenge. Forget this I recently rewatched Ram Gopal Verma’s flick “Darna Zaruri Hai”, and was amazed to see the beginning chunk where a man dies of a heart attack while crossing the graveyard as he believes that someone wearing “Payal”is chasing while in the reality it was coins in his pocket given to him at ticket counter, were making noise. So the moral here is it is your fear that kills you and I always use to say that your fear kills you, not spirits. And even if there are spirits they will never ever harm you in any way as shown in movies.

Now, there is even studies on them called paranormal sciences but in today’s time, a small subject can be the matter of study. So to sum up I can say only one thing not hurting anyone’s belief that for those who believe ghosts there are ghosts and for those who does not believe in ghosts there are no ghosts.

Have a Ghostfree life🤪

Tripts💕

Saree!!!

Now a days saree has become a real taboo. If you wear saree it has to be a special occasion. Either some boys parents are coming to see you or you are going for some event or may be you are an air hostess. Whatever it is but it cannot be a regular wear like jeans, skirts or frocks.

In earlier times women use to wear saree as their daily wear. I love wearing saree. I feel comfortable and beautiful both in saree. Oh and yes not to forget you can look sexy too in saree, you don’t have to necessarily wear short dress to look sexy and hot. People should really change their mindset. And forget people talking about individuals wear what makes you happy and not give up on societal pressure. I have a good collection of saree and I wear it anytime I want even if at home sometimes and if that makes me “Behenji” as some people says who cares after all it’s your body.

Happiness always

Tripts🌸

Love…

Recently I was re watching “Nishabd”. Back in 2007 when the movie released, I was also critical of Mr.Bachchan and the movie as well. However, today I think Love is love, it does not understand any barriers, be it age, religion, caste, creed, community or even gender. There is nothing legal or moral when it comes to Love. May be that’s why it is said “Everything is fair in love”.

So what if a 70 year old man fell in love with a 20 year old girl. Even if he is married and has a 20 year old daughter. Love is a feeling, it is a beautiful emotion. When it overpowers you, it does not see anything else but only your heart. Even if you are married for 30 years, there is a possibility that your heart might beat for someone you just meet. But why is it difficult for society to accept that Love is Love beyond anyone’s restrictions and expectations.

You feel for someone strongly and express it. Why you have to criticise or abandon him or her. Your heart and soul belongs to an individual per say, no one else should have a say in it. Love should be treated with love and not with hatred and judgements. When I watched the movie, I couldn’t understand why the wife and daughter had to abandon him filled with hatred and disgust. He liked being in someone’s company. It made him happy, it should not be termed as cheating on his wife.

It is strange to see people being so judgemental about it. Guys, always be supportive of Love, irrespective of how and which form it is coming. Everyone has the right to feel it. Though I as an individual has always experienced pain in it still I would say that it is a beautiful emotion and I completely believe and support it’s sanctity.

So feel love, believe in love and embrace love.

Love

Tripts…

Sir… Is Love Enough?

Recently I watched the 2018 movie on Netflix. This I am not writing as a movie critic as I am not a Critic. What I want to narrate here is the beauty of the film and the message it wanted to convey. Usually we all say that what happens in a movie does not happen in reall, may be true. However, what I saw in the movie is the taboo in our society.

Ratna, the maid is taking care of her master Ashwin who is kind of dejected after being cheated on by his fiancee and his marriage is called off. Point here is if he is feeling for his maid, what is wrong in it. It’s not that he only wants to sleep with her. Ratna also leaves him saying that society will not approve of their relation. But my point here is why? Why can’t a maid – a servant per say have a relationship with her owner. Why our society can’t accept the fact that two individuals living under same roof can develop feelings for each other. At the end what do we want, a person who understands our needs, emotional turbulences and advise us if we are low in life. Marrying a maid is a hush hush thing over here why?

We need to be more vocal and accepting towards it. At the end what matters is happiness. Life is too short to live with guilt and regrets. Find a person who really understands you. Marriage is just a name given to an alliance between two indiviuals in our society. Think above it, that is mutual love, respect and care that we find in one another. Being a maid is just a job like any other educated one. I am happy with the ending though where Ratna calls her sir by his name Ashwin when he calls her on her number.

I dont want to say much, because we are far away from that point still. But there is always hope.

Stay positive and keep loving.

Tripts

Koffee With Karan FIASCO

It is really bizzare of me writing about the show which has been the most watched show in my favourite list always. I had been an avid follower and audience of KWK. And in fact whenever it was trolled I could not digest the fact that it’s just a scripted show meant for entertainment, why can’t people take it that way. Even when Kill, Marry, Hook up controversy arose my first thought was – It is just a scripted game, give it a break.

However, I closely watched the rapid fire rounds of all the episodes of season 4 where it all started, and I must say Mr. Johar, I am really appalled by your audacity by simply making fun of a talented actor. Where in very conveniently Salman says why Kill, remove it, you said fine. Ask Arjun and he funnily says “I would kill Deepika as she stole Ranveer from me” making it sound like a joke. But when Parineeti is asked she blatantly says Sushant no twisting it now, Alia says would kill Sushant, no twisting but when it comes to others it was twisted as per the convenience thinking that they can’t hurt a particular individual. Hats off!!!

Now, starting a gossip chat show is not a problem, we all somewhere love gossipping. But ridiculing someone in the name of game is not right. There is a thing called ethic. I do not hate Karan Johar but his whole existence seems to be fictional to me now. In fact, he didn’t even invited Sushant on his show though he made his debut in 2013, though last year most of the newcomers were invited and the so called “Outsiders” as they claim to be.

Yes, definitely he was mean to Sushant Singh Rajput. We all are humans, at some points we like or we don’t like someone but does that mean if there is a bit of dislike for someone in us, we start mocking them directly or indirectly. And how come then you are called as motivational speaker at various platforms. What light will you throw on students in London when you are not a generous person who treats everyone equally.

Koffee with Karan is a gossip show, I agree and I loved that show but in the name of show, you cannot satisfy your personal vengeance towards various others. When Ms. Kangana Ranaut made an appearance on the show and that episode created a rage, you said “I could have edited the episode, it’s my show but it’s out there for everyone because everyone has their opinion and I respect that”, well, I would say neither are you a modest person, nor a simpleton, you are a biggest hippocrite, your words do not match your actions. You were not aware that the episode will bring a storm called nepotism so again you twisted it in your favour.

I hope this show does not return in any way. And if people are sensible enough apart from Karan, it definitely will not. And for Karan I can only say please in future if you wish to do any chat show because you love to talk, that is quite evident, please be more sensible and sensitive to everyone’s feelings. I know sensitivity is far from you but you can atleast fake because that is something you can do best FAKE, as you put false RIP messages on social sites for those whom you had nothing to do with.

Hope there should be no KWK moving on!!!

Love and light

Tripts 😊