humanity – Tripts

Monster in Brain

It’s been long time since I have written anything and this also I am doing on the regular insistence of one of my fan, well just kidding he is a dear friend. And usually on request people generally come up with something peppy and positive but the kind of state I am in I do not think I would be able to come up to motivate someone. In fact writing something is also taking lot of efforts still I will try. And for few of you who would be reading for a change I wouldn’t be naming anyone so you all can relax 😅

Well, so I have written a lot about mental health and there is nothing new I will write but I will try to give you peep into someone’s mind especially the one who is battling depression. Well, to start with in today’s world of social media people talk a lot about mental health, it’s like it gives you brownie points to be sensible, mateured and intellectual, however ironically it’s not the case. Because you might seem to be someone who know a lot about mental health and encourage depressive people to seek medication which in reality is not the case.

Well I am not against psychiatric treatment and medication, in fact I do believe in it. But it is so funny the people close to you will make you believe that you are suffering from some mental health issue and should seek treatment but the same people lack compassion, empathy and sympathy for you. I have always spoken about the incidents I have faced in life hence I talk on facts and not imaginations. Well what are those incidents I’ll talk in another blog as I already said that I wouldn’t name shame anyone.

So, these days I am not in correct mindset. My mind is tired because it is working round the clock then my body should have. Overthinking is still okay but my mind has a monster sitting in my mind which constantly sends red flag to me the moment I fell asleep which rarely happens that wake up you have to kill yourself and as soon as I wake up there is a peculiar pain in my chest and my mind is not allowing anything positive to come in, it just tells me this world is not for you. You don’t belong here, common let’s get up and leave forever. If I do not leave my bed I gets even more trapped in captivity of my monsterous mind.

This is not the story of only one me but thousands of those suffering from mental health issue, and trust me it gives you a feeling that you are completely alone though you might be having 1000 of friends. Well it is really easy to judge such people and motivate them but more than that you have to be with them, you don’t have to make them believe anything just stay with them constantly irrespective of their non sensical approach to life. I am sure 99.9 percent people do exact opposite of this. I am talking from my own experience. Many of my closed ones and friends even family have left me because I am really difficult to live with. You know this makes a person even more sick.

Trust me it is only you and your love can cure a person with loads of sadness inside, not some professional, that comes at later stage, you have given up at first only on your loved one. So here I leave you with the thought, yes the person is having mental health issue, yes the person is difficult, yes the person is not lisitening but is it okay to maintain distance with them, till yesterday when they were fun loving, entertaining and fun to be around you all loved her company, today when you find her bit abnormal, you no longer want to be around. Think about it can happen to anyone, will you like such behaviour if they were you.

All said and done I am with them who think they are lonely. If you want you can drop a comment, I won’t leave your hand❤️

Stay happy, stay healthy and keep going

Lots of love

Tripts

New Bride…

I am not married and may be I won’t so may be I should not be the one writing about it. But, hey all you people reading it let’s assume it’s my opinion, may be insane thoughts so let’s just read it for fun. All what I am going to share here are my sheer observations as I already said I am not married.

Whenever a girl marries and comes to a new place do we really for one second thinks what kind of anxiety she must have gone through while leaving her own house and going to some strange place to live the rest of her life. Love or Arrange it does not matter the place will still be strange for that girl in the beginning. So, why is it that the expectations are set for the girl only.

Like she should be polite, she should behave, she should adhere to family values, in short she should be a real nice person and she is not allowed for a single second of bad temper, bad day or having mood swings, why because she is the “Ideal One” or “Adarsh Bahu” as they say. You start having problems with her but do you try to understand her for once. May be even she is feeling it hard to adjust in the new environment. Do we make her feel wanted and accepted.

We are immediately the judgemental ones. It is we who will decide how she should behave, and the most hypocritical thing that I see is you don’t seem anything wrong when your own daughter wears jeans but if your “Bahu” does it she is lacking “Sanskar”, this is just one example I quoted. Why I said this was when you yourself does not treat her like your own daughter why do you then expect her to treat you all like her parents.

I don’t approve such mindset as an individual. I don’t see a point in blaming your daughter in law always and talking ill about her when you have not once embraced her with genuineness. Well not everyone is like that, someone’s are really lucky enough to have parents in their in laws. Well I would only sum up here by saying that give your daughter in law all the love in world and see the magic.

Love and light to all

Tripts…

Divorce… A stigma

Every now and then we hear someone or the other getting divorced. And the amazing part is we at once judges one of the individual in the circus of life called “Divorce”. No, really that’s the bitter truth and I am no less.

Recently, there is one incident that shook me mentally. 4 months back I was living in a p.g with 2 girls one of whom was divorced at the early age of her life. And as soon as I shifted there she opened up about the painful chapter of her life. Now the interesting part is she was exactly like me, same mood swings, same attitude, same temparents overall same individuals and as you all know that opposites attract so we couldn’t gel for long and eventually had a major fallout due to which I left that p.g but one thing that I didn’t mentioned here was that during our verbal spat I told her in anger “Because of this attitude of yours, you got divorced”, which is a very wrong thing to say though I immidiately apologised to her but she never forgave me though I tried a lot in my way to say sorry but she just didn’t wanted to see my face. And I believe she was right in her own space.

Though there is one thing that I never told her because that might create rift among 2 best friends. Her own friend who was the 3rd girl among us 3 days before that spat mentioned this to me in general conversation and due to which I used this line in our fight as it was in my mind. Though many times I felt like telling her friend who was really nice to me that no matter how worse she is you cannot be talking about her in a negative sense to anyone specially a third person who is an outsider in your life like me but I never said because no one likes to lisiten negative about themselves, this I have learnt from my past experiences so I refrain giving any kind of gyan to anyone.

However, point over here is not who is wrong and who is right and who said what, point is who gave us the right to judge an individual who has suffered that dark chapter in his or her life. We were not there when they were having their ups and downs. We were not living their journeys. We do not know what went wrong.

Always remember whenever Divorce happens it is the responsibility of both the individuals involved. We cannot and should not blame any one person. It might be a possibility that the person might have tried a lot to save her or his marriage but eventually things couldn’t work for them. So in this case if a person ever tells you about his or her divorce story just give them a tight hug and say “You are stronger than this, this shall too pass”. Never judge them and please never ever think that it is their fault that they got divorced. May be god has better plans for them. I wish each one of them who ever has to go through this pain be strong and have a wonderful life ahead and lastly “To that special someone who once started with me as a strong friendship a big “SORRY” and I mean it.”

Lots of love to all

Tripts

Marriage – Only Goal ???

“Marriage” it is your ultimate reality. You are born to get married. It’s not easy to live life alone. Especially if you are a girl, life will be hell for you. No, don’t get me wrong, these are not my words, this is the entire humanity thinks.

Recently something really strange happened with me. My mumma’s cousin’s husband, my so called “Mausaji” – Uncle (I elaborated the relation to tell that they are not my direct relative, still “Related”) So he came home to ask for my hand for his son. The son whom I have been calling Bhaiya my entire life and wait a minute tying “Rakhi” to him for some years (Rakhi is a sacred thread that a sister ties on her brothers hand – a bond of love).

And the amazing part was I was in Mumbai he already came and spoke to my mother and she agreed too, waiting for me to visit. Though ofcourse my father was against this alliance, and why my mum and Maasa did this because we both have crossed 40 and still not married, their big reason to worry. I was not angry with them but feeling sad for them that they have lost their sanity completely. I was shook by this incident, it took me a day to register this into my system than I accepted the fact that when it comes to parents you just have to let go.

But I was just thinking whole day today, if I do not get married what actually will happen. Is it end of the world. No no, am serious if someone has answer let me know while reading this. In my family everyone from my cousins to my brother are married and have kids too, only I am left. But when ever there is a social gathering people look at me with pity having a thought “What will she do with her life when she grows old”. This one question really cracks me, you are not sure whether you would be getting up alive in morning the next day and still you are worried of what you would be doing in old age.

Why can’t “Being Single” treated normal. And currently what is really bothering me is a thought of brother and sister getting married even if not connected by blood. Yes my maasa is not my real but his son is my “Rakhi Brother” or people have completely forgotten the ethics, morals and conscience or the desperation is taken all over. I understand making old people understand is a nutcase. But this thought creeps me marrying to someone you faught with as child, took advice, had friendly banters, and now suddenly you try look him as a husband, does this thought shivers anyone of you or is it just the result of my overrthinking.

Whatever it is, my only appeal to everyone is marriage is not the only goal to be achieved in life. If I do not have a husband or child I still can live my life happily not that I will end in depression. And moreover people should really value the relation they are making. Stop making Marriage a taboo. I am not against marriages, marry someone you are compatible with. May be someday I might also marry someone if I get someone or not – Big Deal!!!

With only one thought

Respect relations and value each and every relation you make.

Love and happiness

Tripts

Compassionate Lisitening

Before we talk about comapassionate lisitening, let us understand what is compassion, in simple words it means understanding. Hence, compassionate listening is understanding the suffering without any judgements or advices. Be the person with whom someone in stress can share his or her ordeals and fights related to life also may be with all the wrong perceptions and ideas about situations and people around them. They don’t need to be corrected at the time when they are coming to you in hope of some relief.

When a person is in stress all he/she needs is someone who will lisiten without any judgements, even if they are completely wrong. Be the bin where they can just dump all the garbage inside them. What most of us do is we try to tell them how they have turned situation against them, how they have messed up everything and what they need to do to correct everything in life. No, they don’t need your advice at that point in life when they themselves are suffering a lot inside. Just lisiten to them what they have to say and your reaction should be silently “Everything will be allright” look.

People talk a lot about mental health and how one should be helped to deal with stress and depression and anxiety, but do they really do something about it when it comes to them in person. I have gone through this personally when I have been advised how I should change myself when I am telling that what I have done was wrong and admitting to it. And its not about individual experience if someone talks to me opening up and also telling me that they have done nothing wrong where at the back of the mind I know that’s not right, but I do not correct them because I know emptying themselves will lighten their hearts and eventually people do realise what was their mistake and what they have done was wrong. You do not have to be their teacher at the time of stress.

If you can be a dumping bag for them, it will really help them and they will not find themselves all alone in this fight called “LIFE”. Be the one, Be the Compassionate Listeners.

Have a happy day!

Love and Light

Tripts ❤️

A Gentle Soul Remembering SSR

A Gentle Soul Remembering SSR

Irrfan Khan – A Gem

What does it mean, Irfan means “Knowledge” “Awareness” and “Learning”. And it is so amazing that this legend perfectly suited his name and glorified its meaning.

I have never been an artist crazy person but this is one such person who has left a deep impact on me not only as an artist but also as a human being. One should learn from him how to be a human being first, rest all other things will fall in place. There are so many things about him that if I start writing about them I would have to write a biography.

I still cannot think him as a dead being, it still feel that he is around. It is fortunate that atleast he acted in movies so atleast we can have a glimpse of him whenever we want. Seeing him never felt like he is an actor, it always felt like some genuine soul is creating a magic. He was a good soul overall. Recently I saw his interview that was taken in 2016 where he was seen arguing with Muftis and Maulanas. His thoughts were bang on. It was how I use to think and always fought with people that not all Muslims are bad. I even got inspired to read Quran and I did.

I really feel sad that such an amazing soul is not between us. Infact I remember during the lockdown when I was in Mumbai last year, I woke up with the news that Irrfan Khan admitted to hospital, and I immediately murmured to myself irritably “Please don’t die I am already in stress, what rubbish is this now”, as that time I was low due to lockdown as I was unable to go to my hometown. And next day the news was everywhere he is no more. My eyes were teary. It happened with no other star who died, infact not even with Sridevi being my favourite. That was also because I never saw him as an actor, for me in my mind it was always like he is a nice human being, though I have never met him and this is one regret with which I will have to live my entire life that I won’t be able to see this amazing soul ever in my life.

I remember whenever there was any movie which starred Irrfan Khan I use to watch it without any second thought. I watched Piku and Lunchbox don’t know how many times. All I can say is will miss you Irrfan Sir. I love you from the bottom of my heart and wish that you always smile as a rising star looking down upon us.

Love and only Love

Tripts.

My Brother Nikhil

Recently I watched this 2005 flick, and was wondering were people really that ignorant those times. Thankfully, people are more aware now atleast that is what I think. It dealt with 2 “Taboos”, majorly “Aids” and some part of homosexuality.

Firstly let’s talk about homosexuality, why we have to give it a name. Can’t it be taken as normal sex like what happens between a boy and a girl, it can happen between a boy and a boy or a girl and a girl. Or more than sex Love. Why to stereotype and make it look unusual and something that is beyond nature. Why can’t it be taken as a normal subject. Why to ridicule and make a mockery of it. That’s true even today whenever we come across a man who seems to be gay as per his mannerisms, we talk hush hush giggle pointing at him. That’s true as I use to work in media industry, most of the make up person or stylist use to be gay, and people use to be normal with them but make fun of them behind their back. I mean this is so unacceptable. It is just the matter of choice, there is nothing wrong in it. Infact it took a legal turn to when government has to announce that 377 is legal now, means it was such an offence that a penal code was assigned to it why because there was lot of hue and cry regarding it mainly in the form of activists that it is ruining the prestige of their religion whereas there is no where in any religious book it is mentioned to crush someone’s independence.

Now let’s talk about “Aids”, though now I believe it’s no longer a taboo still I have come across many intellectual people who do believe that maintain distance with people having “Aids”. Years back I was watching movie “Phir Milenge” starring Shilpa Shetty and Salman Khan, I was watching the movie with one of my creative director for a T.V Show, I just mouthed out words like what lame people are these who are sacking her for being HIV positive, to which my director counter attacked what’s wrong in this, it’s always better to be safe. I was really amazed by her senses. How will you get impacted in being around with such person. But that’s true. Some people even today have this myth in them that HIV positive people are contagious. All I can say is if at all you have some kind of mental turbulences, please educate yourself before being paranoid. Firstly being HIV Positive does not mean the person has AIDS and secondly even if the person has Aids it’s fine he or she would be taking treatment and let the person live the life with full dignity with whatever time he or she is left with. Don’t ridicule or embarrass the person.

Live life with full grace.

Tripts🌸

Why I assassinated Gandhi – Nathuram Godse

Recently I read this book, not that I am politically inclined but ever since I had little bit of knowledge of political scenarios, I have witness that though Gandhiji is referred as Father of Nation however, he is widely hated person in our country. Some section of people also appreciate as to what Nathuram did, so I thought of atleast having a understanding of events that unfolded on the fateful day of 30th January 1948.

However, before I begin I must acknowledge that I do not have iota of political views. I never indulge in political understanding, firstly as I do not have much knowledge about it and secondly no interest in politics as I hate it. Hence, my views here are completely on my own understanding and set of principles I believe in.

Firstly, the hatred all started when after the partition Government decided not to pay 55 crores to Pakistan till the Kashmir issue was resolved under the guidance of Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel. Gandhiji protested that by this they are going against his principle of Ahimsa and said that he will go for fasting. Finally, Indian Government decided to give in to Gandhiji’s demands. But, still after this also Pakistan’s heart did not melt. Gandhiji was moreover seen as pro Muslim and anti Hindu. When the news article was printed in “The Teleprinter” about Gandhijis fast on 12th Aug 1948. It was then that it was decided that Gandhiji should be assassinated so that pressure on govt shouldn’t be imposed.

So, basically the immediate reason of killing Gandhiji was his fasting to put pressure on Government to give 55 crores. As far as my understanding is concerned related to book, it seems it is moreover protecting Hinduism to certain exten. Nathuram comes across as a flag bearer of Hinduism.

I am not a political person, neither do I have wise knowledge about it to comment. There is nothing right or wrong. However, I believe Humanity is above all politics and religion. Even if as per Nathuram, Gandhiji’s policies were pro Muslims and anti Hindus, was Gandhiji harming any individual. And moreover, if such hatred arises for a person, then the person should be there physically to tell the reasons behind any kind of event. After killing someone, justifying the act stating that it was done in the national interest of the country, seems funny and irrelevant to me.

While reading the book, I could sense that Nathuram was no doubt a very intelligent man but with limitations and conservatism in his mannerisms. And whether people will believe or not, he too was manipulative as he mentioned the same for Gandhiji. Lastly, I can say that killing is not a solution for anything. Recently while discussing this book my father funnily remarked “You are today saying all this, that time in those situations you might have also done the same”, to which very calmly I replied “No, I feel angry on lot many people, but I never feel like going and shooting them’.

Well, all I can say is destroying a life is never and can never be justified.

Love

Tripts…

Social Media Ideals

I know the title seems too wierd. What I meant here is that people posts too idealistic quotes on social media, but do they really mean it. No, trust me I know such people, infact public figures who posts too idealistic quotes like being positive, genuine soul etc etc but in reality they are exact opposite to it.

I never post such things on social media because our mind works in mysterious manner. Today we are positive, tomorrow we can be negative and the other day might get involve in immoral activities, we cannot predict our personality, it keep on changing. First of all develop humanity. Be kind to everyone. We all lack this virtue including me. I don’t think I am a genuine soul, if for once you became jealous of someone, made fun of someone’s appearance or spoke ill about someone then you are human not genuine. And that is why giving motivational gyan on social media is far from being true. They post to gain followers, more and more likes. I have worked in media industry and know many such people who are completely different off screen. And that’s not wrong but why to be saints on social media. Be who you are. I don’t feel ashamed saying that I am fake at times, negative and jealous being. Because I am human. One should be kind from inside and then they won’t have to give gyan to others and they will automatically have millions of followers.

Love

Tripts❤️

Slangs… Just words or disrespect!!!

As far as slangs used in English language as a part of conversation it’s all cool. However, I never like when people used ethnicity based slurs to define people. It is all in bad taste, very disrespectful! But for people it’s all in humour. Keeping names for the people you are friendly with is okay but using slangs in generic terms is really not acceptable.

Like for example very common one is “Chinky” that refers to mostly people with Chinese origin. Same way “Nigger” is the word used for black people mostly in USA. And the most offensive term I hate personally is “Katua” or “Mullah” to describe people of Muslim origin. And what is amazing is that people find pride and fun while calling these names out. I never liked, when I use to work and when my seniors use to joke about taking these slangs, I use to keep quiet, no point in correcting these so called high profile, sophisticated, intellectual and elite class. They know everything and if you correct them you are either spoiled sport or trying to be classy and modest.

So I stopped correcting anyone now. But I feel we should not be using derogatory term for anyone and just for once try to step in their shoes, how will you feel if someone does that to you.

Have a lovely and joyous day.

Love

Tripts🥰

The Intern

When I started working in Mumbai in T.V industry, I used to be embarrassed quite a while because everyone out there were so young to me, even my creative directors and I was working as their juniors, all because I started too late.

But then one day while net surfing I came across this wonderful movie that changed my mindset all together. Well, even if you are working with your younger ones as your seniors, there is no need to be embarrassed if you are dedicated, hardworking, focused and most important wearing a smile whole time at work.

At the end how does it matter what age you are till the time you know your job and love your job and even if people sometime talk about you or seem surprised for your age, that’s okay. You be confident because at the end confidence is what matters and trust me slowly people will love you.

Love

Tripts…

Animals – Human??? Are We!!!!

Sometimes I wonder do we really deserve to be human or we are just enjoying the perks because by chance we are born as human being. On the other hand animals are more human than we can ever be. Whenever I see videos of animals being tortured I wonder what have we become. I mean what pleasure it is to burn live puppies or throw stones on cows. Sometimes I even feel angry when I see iron being nailed in horse toe in the name of horse shoe. Imagine if something is inserted forcefully in you. Will it not be painful.

I don’t like when innocent dogs are being walked on two legs in the name of training, imagine you walking on your legs and hands. And we call it cute, ask the puppy is it really cute for him or he is just the source of your entertainment. When I see elephants, monkeys and donkeys working for us, it is really painful. Just for once keep you at their place and think. But we are humans and we are authorise to do anything.

Even more painful is that there are no animal laws in our country. Animal lives does not matter at all. If you kill any animal that would be an accident and you won’t be serving any sentence in jail. Our law should strictly abide some strict measures for those who take animal harassment as their leisure.

Love animals, they can’t even talk about their plight. They are the innocent ones this earth has given us. Protect them. Be kind to them.

Love

Tripts.

My Name Is Khan!

This movie is one of my favourite and I can watch it umpteen no of times. No, not because of SRK or Karan Johar. It is my favourite due to the fact I always believed and it was portrayed in the movie. Back in 2010 when this movie was released, I watched in theatre and I cried, I cried a lot. Not because I got emotional, yes ofcourse this movie was emotional but I cried out of happiness. Simply because I was happy finally someone said what I was saying whole of these years and people were arguing with me. No one agreed with me.

The point I am trying to make here is that why we bracket Muslims. Not all Muslims are terrorists, not all Muslims are bad. Yes I do agree that they are rigid religiously. If hypothetically we believe also that all Muslims are very cynical then too what you all do, outcast them, demean them, look down upon them. They have certain ways of thinking and worshiping. They behave differently but that’s okay. If you say that they don’t pray our God or enter our temples, that’s okay, but you don’t stop going to mosques. Why you have to start comparisans.

When I was doing graduation, I still remember I have a very good friend and batchmate Iftikhar with me who use to walk with me till my hostel gate every day. The dean of my university was Brahmin like me. Once the guards caught us thinking us to be couple took our I.d cards, not to miss our exams were near. The guard saw our I.d cards, looking at my name Tripathi and his name being Khan, they gave back my card and kept his, we both pleaded but he yelled and asked us to leave. He paid the price for dropping me hostel safely though we were never in love. I genuinely felt bad for him and I never saw him again after that day.

This is just one incident that happened with me, there are no of such incidents that happen with people every now and then especially when they travel abroad. Why???? Muslims are people just like us. I have read Quran and it also teaches what other religious pictures teaches us. No difference at all. Yes I agree terrorism mostly has Muslims but does that mean we should start hating overall Muslims. No!!!

Infact when Pulwama Attack happened in Feb 2019, it is so ironic that what Mr. Navjot Singh Sidhu said for which he was condemned a lot I said exactly the same a day before that, even if the attack has been done by Pakistan, to blame entire Pakistan people is wrong.

I know many people will hate me for writing this, may be they will also call me anti Indian but all I am saying is humanity is above all and using terms for Muslims like “Mullah” “Katua” etc is derogatory. Not acceptable at all. Treat Muslims with equality and pride. They are human too like us. No need to look them down upon. Yes and I do believe that not all of them are terrorists.

Love, Peace and Humanity.

Tripts.